a berry cold oregon morning. (2/365)

i'm currently house sitting out in this beaverton/west hills area outside of downtown portland, and it's kind of out in no-mans land. (although it is ironically a cookie cutter town home overdeveloped area so why it feels like no-mans land i have no idea....)  anywho, this project 365 gave me a fantastic opportunity to walk around a bit, emphasis on a bit because no coat and 25 degrees makes for a brisk walk.......  again with the anywho, because really, that's neither here nor there.... the point being, i tried to capture some images on my walk which later turned out to be fails. this one however, i liked. i feel like it reads the mood loud and clear. cold and gray. although the berries were bright red, the silhouetteidness (ha i love making up words) of it, just helps to emphasize that yup, it's cold and gray.

 

xoxo.

project 365.

365 photos. one a day for the next year. it's not a resolution, because if it was, quite frankly i'd quit trying after a few months. it's just a fact. 365 photos. one a day. this one was taken at cannon beach, or. my first solo mission in 6 months. far too many months for me to have spent an afternoon on my own, doing something that took me out of my comfort zone. i'm comfortable with that. what a rare, gorgeous, cold, january day in oregon.

xoxo.

giving thanks.

today is my favorite day of the entire year. it's a day filled with laughter, tears, love, friends, family, cooking, food, wine and memories. it's not about gifts, it's not about giving, it's about recognizing how blessed we are regardless of our circumstances. i have so many things to be thankful for it's hard to even start.

i have two healthy parents that have been in love for over 45 years. they have taught me more lessons than i can imagine. they support me unconditionally even if it means picking up and moving my life 1000 miles away chasing my dreams.

i have a sister that is my best friend regardless of growing pains. she and my brothers have brought me a gaggle of nieces and nephews that although at times make me want to pull out my hair, life would never be the same without. 

i have two cats that stick with me through thick and thin (mainly because i feed them). they lick my salty tears, they curl up in the crook of my knees at night when it's cold, and they teach me lessons in patience everyday. 

i have amazing friends that stick with me through all of my crazies. they keep me grounded like a kite, allowing me to soar in the wind and fly away, yet tethering me to the them regardless of how far i fly. 

5 months ago i picked up my life and i moved, scared and alone i found myself in an amazing community that instantly felt like home. i have met amazing people, that have made me part of their own. i have had the opportunity to sell my crafts, i have been encouraged and inspired to think bigger, i have been given the tools to do all of this. i love my life, i love my family, i love my friends. 

this is the first holiday in my 31 years that i have spent without my "family" and although tears are shed, i know that my afternoon that is to be filled with friends, laughter, and wine,  awaits me with open arms. 

i'm not sure who even reads this but i just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. this is me. all me. and your silent support is more important to me than you will ever know. 

the picture i am posting today is sort of odd for today yet incredibly appropriate in it's own way. there's a bit of sadness to it, yet, something about it makes me incredibly happy.

have a happy thanksgiving everyone! may your day be filled with love, laughter, and grace.

xoxo.

finding gems in webs.

i feel like a broken record. constantly talking about the beauty i find in the rain. i just can't help it though, here in portland it is literally everywhere. just the other day while walking out of my front door i was once again confronted with stunning visual imagery. now although the rain droplets on the  web aren't an original image, meaning it's been taken before, i still absolutely love the effect that it creates. like pearls dangling from a web. this is an image that i will take over and over as i wasn't able to fully capture it the way it was scene in my minds eye but this is just the beginning.

 

 attached to the web above was this fallen leaf. it was waving in the gentle breeze so being able to take a picture was a lot harder than it appears, the leaf being a moving target and all.... i was however delighted by the images i was able to capture. my favorite being the reflection in the droplet. 

xoxo.

 

falling in love...

so i know i keep saying this BUT what an amazing life altering experience this has been leaving everything i know and moving somewhere completely different. it's not just about learning to readjust your life, learning to weave your ways into the lives of others, learning to be completely open and vulnerable to everything around you. there is so much "new" happening that it's hard to forget that what's new to you isn't new to everyone around you. and although i like to think that my enthusiasm is catching and contagious, the truth is, it's not for everyone. just like weather isn't for everyone. of course, we will have this conversation again in a couple of months as everyone keeps drilling into my head that the doom of the gloom of the winters of the pacific northwest is coming and that it is surely to pierce through my positiveness. but screw that, why look ahead to what awful is to come? why not just experience and enjoy the now??? it's like riding a bicycle up a hill, never look up, just down. see whats directly underfoot, not the giant hill that is gonna cause muscle spasms and heart palpitations. so that's exactly what i'm gonna do. enjoy and experience what is happening around me now, and then just wait to see what fun comes "then". ironically of course, unlike the hill, i am gonna look up. because although one persons leaves falling signifies the cold and dark to come, to me, it's simply the beauty of mother nature in all of her glory. and hot damn she's beautiful.

xoxo.

to each their own, right?

what can i say. i have a strange affinity for the supernatural. always have, always will. and with that strange affinity comes an even odder sense of calmness and beauty that i find in cemetery's. the older the better. i remember throwing a hissy in paris because i didn't want to go to the louvre, i wanted to go to pere lachaise cemetery instead. there is something so, um, awe invoking, about the quiet there, the history, the tears and sorrow that soak the earth, the amount of passion whether good or bad that is expressed there. there is a beauty to the stone work for tombstones, the love put into mausoleums, the poetry (or not) chosen to be written as a final glance into who someone once was... mother, father, woodsman, teacher..... and when i write "there", it's not anywhere in particular, its just cemetery's in general. the point of all this is, while a friend was in town visiting, we happened upon a beautiful cemetery. both of us being fans, we stopped and walked around. (this being her first place out of the car in portland, leading later to good stories and odd looks). i was instantly struck by the fact that these beautiful grounds were over shadowed by towers of some sort, be they radio or cellular, it was an incredible juxtaposition! and being me, i whipped out the ever handy powershot from my purse and embarked on a new expedition. i wanted to share the following photos. there's a certain calmness to them that i have a hard time explaining, i just feel it. maybe it's all in my head. maybe this is why other people are supposed to help edit, it's harder to step away and see things for what they are when you have an emotional attachment to it. but regardless.... on this all hallows eve weekend i bring you something a little creepy....... muhahahhahaha.

oh, and is it just me or is "kuehle" just a really neato way of making "cool" your last name?

xoxo.

what a difference three months makes.

3 months ago, before i left san diego, i went to what was by far the very best show i had ever been to. i was completely in awe as i watched these 4 young gents from london put their heart and soul into this very intimate show at the belly up in san diego. there was so much pride and excitement exuding from these men, the energy completely contagious. it felt to every person there that marcus mumford was singing directly at you. as if it was you and him and his guitar. intimacy at it's finest in a crowd of a couple hundred at most. when i saw they were coming to portland i didn't even blink when it came to buying my ticket, this was one show i was not going to miss. oh how i wish i had. not to say that they weren't still amazing, that the music still didn't move me, it's just that, well, there was no way that they could ever recreate that moment that we shared a mere three months ago. i was trying to explain this disappointment to a friend and i came up with a couple of things. to start, it was perhaps one of the most obnoxious venues i have ever been to. the crystal ballroom should be ashamed. i have never experienced a place where the 80's dance party that they were throwing downstairs completely overshadowed the sold out show occurring in the ballroom. you could literally hear the downstairs music over the band. wtf!!! the second thing that i had a harder time explaining yet, thankfully captured, was the new found pyrotechnics that they added to their show. (now, perhaps i am a bit biased as i was thoroughly annoyed with kings of leon and their pyrotechnics as well BUT......) some may say that the fireworks happen when a band makes it big, that that's kind of like how you know they are now somebody, well, if that's the case, i want mumford and sons to remain nobodies. it completely took away from the beauty of the music. it was an absolute distraction and spectacle. i think those kinds of hyjinks should be reserved for bands that need the distractions from their lacking in substance music. it makes me sad to write this and feel so disappointed. it makes me sad to feel that there went another great band.... le sigh. anyways, i took a few pictures, shocking i know, and thought i would share. the last one being the only one i like. it's simple, quiet, beautiful, like their music, before it got all out of control. 

  hurts, doesn't it.

xoxo.